About the Author
Hima Gu
“I pulled myself out of hell, so I can help you get out too.”
I’m a Chinese woman born in the 1980s, now living in Bali after spending the past decade abroad across different cultures. I grew up carrying not only my own childhood trauma, but layers of generational trauma shaped by war, the Cultural Revolution and the experiences passed down through my family. My father was an orphan who later became narcissistic, emotionally unavailable and dependent on alcohol; my mother is AuDHD (autistic + ADHD) and lived for years with domestic violence. My own childhood included sexual abuse, bullying, depression, self-harm and neurodermatitis, and I carried many of those experiences into adulthood as CPTSD, codependency, and sex and love addiction. I spent years trying to find my way out through different forms of healing—from plant medicine and somatic psychotherapy to 12-Step recovery, Tantra, yoga and Chinese medicine—learning what genuinely helped, what didn’t, and what sent me down unnecessary rabbit holes. Today, many of the struggles that once dominated my life have become manageable enough for me to live, work and participate in society with stability and agency. My journey has gradually shifted from patient to survivor, practitioner and independent researcher. I created Gupava as a way to contribute something back: documenting what I’ve learned about trauma, addiction, relationships, embodiment and spiritual practice through both an Eastern female perspective and a decade of international experience, and sharing the research, practices and hard-earned lessons that helped me find my own way out.
Send me a DM via IG or Email if you would like to work with me.
Certified Practitioner in Somatic & Polyvagal Addictions Treatment
Survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault, depression, self-harm, cult-related trauma, complex PTSD (CPTSD), and AuDHD
Independent researcher in Eastern feminism, Taoism, Tantra, Shaktism, shamanic traditions, plant medicine, psychedelics, spirituality, and embodied healing
Facilitator of 12-Step group healing spaces for Adult Children, sex and love addiction, and codependency recovery
Astrologer and coach specializing in Zi Wei Dou Shu (Chinese astrology) and the I Ching, with 500+ clients served
10+ years of experience in user experience design, branding, and creative direction; previously worked at TikTok and Ogilvy, with client experience including Disney, IDEO, and the World Bank
Certified 200-Hour Yoga Teacher
Choose your next step
A guided PDF workbook for love addiction, codependency, inner child healing, and shadow work. Through personal inventories, psychological reflection, and structured recovery exercises, you'll uncover the unconscious patterns behind emotional dependency, identity projection, and self-sacrifice—then begin rebuilding self-worth, agency, and healthier relationship patterns.
About the author
Send me a DM via IG or Email
The Problem
No matter how many short videos you've watched about self-love, dating advice, attachment styles, or manifestation, real change won't happen until you do the deep self-inventory work. If you're truly ready to break toxic relationship patterns, invest your energy in what actually creates lasting change.
The solution
This workbook distills the core principles of Love Fantasy Addiction, Codependency Recovery, Childhood Trauma, Inner Child Healing, and Shadow Work into practical exercises. Instead of spending years consuming endless content or relying solely on therapy, you'll uncover and release the emotional knots that keep attracting the same people, repeating the same patterns, and recreating the same pain.
Inside the Worksheet：
Identity Projection to uncover the identity you've been projecting onto someone else's halo.
Energy Inventory to audit where your time, money, attention, and emotional energy are actually going.
Love Addiction & Withdrawal to recognize your addiction cycle and emotional withdrawal triggers.
Inner Child Shadow Work to reconnect today's emotional patterns with their childhood roots.
Belief Rewiring to identify and replace the limiting beliefs driving codependency.
Agency Rebuilding to redirect your energy toward creating your own life and future.
You'll Learn To：
Separate your own identity from the fantasy you've projected onto someone else.
Recognize where your energy is leaking—and bring it back to yourself.
Break the cycle of love addiction before it repeats itself.
Understand how childhood wounds continue to shape your adult relationships.
Transform self-sacrifice into self-worth and healthy boundaries.
Build a life that no longer depends on someone else's halo.
Healing becomes more powerful when it's shared. Every story is a mirror. Sometimes we recognize our own wounds only after seeing them reflected in someone else. If this workbook helped you recognize a pattern or take the first step toward healing, we'd love to hear your story. DM us your experience, breakthrough, or reflection. With your permission, we'll select some submissions to publish anonymously on Gupava, so others can realize they're not alone and find hope in your journey.Your story could be the one that helps someone else break the same cycle.
Practice on your own
For self-guided reflection and exercises.
A Guided Peer-Support Circle for Relationship Patterns, Self-Awareness & Cultivation
What Is Gupava Circle?
Gupava Circle is a guided peer-support meeting for women working through codependency, love and fantasy addiction, Adult Child patterns, self-abandonment, relationship obsession and the loss of personal agency. It brings together overlapping insights from CoDA, SLAA and ACA into one structured space for self-reflection, shared experience and ongoing practice. Rather than spending the meeting analyzing other people, we bring the attention back to ourselves: What pattern am I repeating? What is happening underneath it? What belongs to me? And what can I practice differently?
What Can the Circle Help You With?
The Circle explores patterns including limerence, obsessive attachment, approval seeking, people-pleasing, rescuing, weak boundaries, attraction to unavailable people, abandonment fear, emotional dependency, fantasy relationships, compulsive sexual or romantic behavior, difficulty identifying your own needs, losing yourself when a relationship becomes emotionally intense, and repeating family-of-origin dynamics in adult relationships. Unlike one-to-one therapy, consultation or energy work, a group creates its own chemistry: other members become mirrors who can reveal blind spots we may not be able to see from inside our own stories, while their experiences can give language and perspective to patterns we recognize in ourselves. Listening is also part of the practice. Addiction, obsession and emotional distress can narrow our attention around our own cravings, fears, fantasies and pain; learning to genuinely witness another person helps interrupt this self-preoccupation and trains our attention to move beyond ourselves. Because this process is held collectively, the cost is shared across the group, making regular participation more financially accessible and sustainable than relying exclusively on one-to-one work. The Circle therefore offers a multidimensional form of ongoing practice: we learn through being witnessed, witnessing others, recognizing ourselves in other people’s stories, and participating in the collective intelligence of the group.
How Is It Different From a Traditional 12-Step Meeting?
Gupava Circle is inspired by the structure and collective wisdom of 12-Step fellowships, particularly CoDA, SLAA and ACA, but it is an independent Gupava practice and is not affiliated with these organizations. Alongside 12-Step principles, the Circle integrates traditional Tantra, particularly feminine and non-dual frameworks such as the Mahavidyas and Sri Vidya. Instead of centering a singular paternal Higher Power or approaching transformation only through a linear model, Gupava Circle makes space for feminine archetypes, cyclical transformation, Shakti, embodiment, meditation, self-inquiry and the integration of spiritual and material life. This creates an alternative framework for women who resonate more deeply with Eastern, feminine and non-dual approaches to personal growth.
What Happens in a Meeting?
Each Gupava Circle follows a consistent structure so participants know what to expect while every meeting can explore a different theme. We begin together with an Opening that includes grounding and the core Gupava readings, followed by a brief check-in. The facilitator then introduces the Weekly Reading and an accompanying question for self-inquiry before moving into timed sharing. During sharing, members speak from their own experience without cross-talk, unsolicited advice, rescuing, diagnosing or analyzing other participants. We finish by reviewing the meeting together and closing the Circle.
Meeting Flow
Opening
Brief Check-In
Weekly Reading
Timed Sharing
Review Full Meeting
Confidentiality & Safety
What is shared in Gupava Circle stays in Gupava Circle. Participants should not record, screenshot, identify or repeat another member’s personal story outside the meeting. Sharing is always optional, and anyone may pass without explanation. Gupava Circle is a peer-support and personal-development space rather than psychotherapy, medical treatment, crisis intervention or a substitute for professional mental-health care.
Time
Every Sunday, 9:00 AM Bali Time (WITA / UTC+8)
Saturday: 8–9 PM ET / 5–6 PM PT depending on daylight saving time
Before Booking
If you are currently based in Indonesia and experiencing financial difficulty, please feel free to explain your situation when you contact me. Each Circle reserves 2 donation-based seats to make ongoing participation more accessible.
Each Gupava Circle is limited to a maximum of 11 participants to keep the space intimate and ensure everyone has enough time to share.
Gupava Circle is currently in development.
If you’re interested in collaborating, facilitating, or contributing to the project, feel free to reach out via Instagram DM with a short introduction and how you’d like to get involved: https://www.instagram.com/gupava.xyz/
Practice with others
Join a facilitated healing space with other women.
Stop Collecting Advice. Get a Personal Strategy for the Pattern You’re Actually Living.
Free content can help you recognize a pattern, but it cannot see your blind spots, history, contradictions, and decision context the way a personalized consultation can. In a 1:1 session, I work as a personal strategist: I help you organize what is happening, identify what you may be too close to see, and turn that insight into a clearer next step.
Choose the Kind of Support You Need
Healing Consultation
Choose Healing when you already know something keeps repeating and you want help changing the pattern.
This is for issues such as limerence, codependency, self-abandonment, childhood patterns, relationship repetition, boundaries, or losing yourself when you become emotionally attached.
We work through three layers:
Pattern recognition — what keeps repeating, and what may be underneath it.
Personalized interpretation — how your history, attachment, identity, and current situation interact.
Practical direction — exercises, boundaries, reflection prompts, or next steps using 12-Step-informed frameworks, psychological pattern work, and Tantra-informed embodiment.
Healing is for: “I know something is wrong. How do I work on it?”
Zi Wei Dou Shu Reading
Choose a Reading when you want to understand your default patterns, strengths, direction, and the kinds of situations you naturally move toward.
I use both Zi Wei Dou Shu natal chart reading (紫微斗数命盘) and Zi Wei divination (紫占).
The natal chart looks at your underlying default setting: the patterns that may naturally repeat if you do not consciously intervene. This can include relationship tendencies, the kinds of people you may be drawn to, recurring obstacles, career strengths, natural skill areas, life themes, and traditional karmic interpretations within the Zi Wei system.
Zi Wei divination is more useful when you have a specific decision in front of you. For example:
Should I take this new job?
Is this career transition worth pursuing?
Should I start this business?
Which option is more aligned when I do not have enough information yet?
Reading is for: “What are my patterns, and what direction should I explore?”
Combo
Choose Combo when you want both the map and the strategy.
We use Zi Wei Dou Shu to understand the pattern or decision from another angle, then use the Healing portion to work on how that pattern is actually showing up in your life.
The Combo is priced lower than booking the two sessions separately.
Combo is for: “Why is this happening, and what do I do about it?”
What You’re Actually Paying For
You are not paying for generic advice or someone to simply agree with you. You are paying for personalized pattern analysis.
The work has four parts:
Pattern recognition — another pair of eyes on what you may be too close to see.
Personalized interpretation — advice based on your actual situation rather than generalized social-media content.
Direction — turning confusion into a smaller number of clearer decisions or actions.
Follow-through — support after the call so you can ask questions once the insight meets real life.
Each consultation includes a 60-minute private video call and 7 days of follow-up text Q&A.
What This Is—and What It Isn’t
This is a strategy and self-inquiry space, not psychotherapy or medical treatment.
I work with pattern recognition, recovery frameworks, embodiment, Tantra-informed perspectives, Zi Wei Dou Shu, and practical reflection. I do not diagnose mental-health conditions, promise to heal you, or make major life decisions for you.
The goal is to help you see more clearly so that you can make better decisions for yourself.
Not Sure Which One to Choose?
If you want to change an emotional or relationship pattern, choose Healing.
If you want to understand your chart, career direction, relationship tendencies, or make a specific decision, choose Reading.
If you want both the deeper map and practical pattern work, choose Combo.
If you are still unsure, send me a DM on Instagram before booking. Tell me briefly what your goal is, where you feel blocked, and what you are trying to understand or change. I’ll let you know whether my current services and approach are a good fit for what you need.
I’ve worked with 500+ clients across consultation and reading work, and you can also check the Highlights on my Instagram for screenshots of real client conversations, feedback, and examples of how I work.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gupava.xyz/
Not Ready for 1:1 Yet?
If you already recognize your pattern and would rather work on it privately first, start with a Gupava Workbook.
See the pattern → Work on the pattern → Get help with the pattern.
Explore the workbooks here:
About Hima & Gupava
My work combines lived recovery, 12-Step-informed frameworks, psychological pattern recognition, Tantra and embodiment, Chinese metaphysics, and practical strategy. My role is not to become another authority you depend on, but to help you notice what you may not be seeing and return more authority to yourself.
Want to know who you’re talking to before booking?
Learn more about my background, approach, and Gupava here:
Work with me directly
For personalized guidance on your specific patterns and situation.